Be sure to read the comments at the end, too.
During my Kindermusik educator training, my consciousness was raised as to how often we say "good boy" or "good girl" as praise for an action, which directly links performance to worth as a person. Instead, I learned to praise the action: "Your singing is so happy! I love it! Keep it up!" "You really drummed those drums so steadily! Great job!" Etc. ("Your singing is so happy" not grammatically correct, of course; but these are pre-k children; so, IMHO, for the desired message to be received is sometimes more important than exact grammar.)
On a related theme, this article speaks briefly to the issue of praising or addressing kids, in this article's case girls, primarily on their looks, rather than on their inner qualities. It's not a bad thing in and of itself; the only problem is that it's usually the first response/greeting we give and its rarely evened out with affirmation of a positive inner quality in close proximity to the first comment. And, typically, an affirmation of a positive inner quality is not usually the first response.
It's true, as some responders pointed out, that we do praise boys for their looks/appearances; however, if you'll begin to notice in the next few days, we do it overwhelmingly more with girls and we do it much more as a first-reaction.
Food for thought.
Blog Article: How to Talk to Little Girls
During my Kindermusik educator training, my consciousness was raised as to how often we say "good boy" or "good girl" as praise for an action, which directly links performance to worth as a person. Instead, I learned to praise the action: "Your singing is so happy! I love it! Keep it up!" "You really drummed those drums so steadily! Great job!" Etc. ("Your singing is so happy" not grammatically correct, of course; but these are pre-k children; so, IMHO, for the desired message to be received is sometimes more important than exact grammar.)
On a related theme, this article speaks briefly to the issue of praising or addressing kids, in this article's case girls, primarily on their looks, rather than on their inner qualities. It's not a bad thing in and of itself; the only problem is that it's usually the first response/greeting we give and its rarely evened out with affirmation of a positive inner quality in close proximity to the first comment. And, typically, an affirmation of a positive inner quality is not usually the first response.
It's true, as some responders pointed out, that we do praise boys for their looks/appearances; however, if you'll begin to notice in the next few days, we do it overwhelmingly more with girls and we do it much more as a first-reaction.
Food for thought.
Blog Article: How to Talk to Little Girls
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